For those of you who haven’t watched a sitcom, ever: Sadie Hawkins Day is the day when the girls ask the guys to the dance. It’s also known as opposite day or backwards day. How does this relate to fantasy football you may ask? When you start having crappy weeks doing the exact opposite of your instinct could be your only hope to turn it around.

I was chatting last Sunday with my buddy @Kev_brady (Follow him he’ll entertain you.) as I was having hands down the worst fantasy week I’ve ever had. Every single decision I made turned out to be the wrong one. I benched MSW (Mike Sims-Walker for the unindoctrinated.) for Andre Caldwell. I didn’t start Beanie Wells despite my entire ahead of the curve spiel. I sat the defense of my favorite team (49ers) to start the Bills D! Add to that just two awful games from Vincent Jackson and Marques Colston, I was doomed. So in between mocking me and questioning how I planned to make up the massive point deficits facing me Kev posed this idea: “Why don’t you just do the opposite of what you’re instinct is telling you?” He may have posed it a bit more um colorfully. Four letter words aside, the point was everything you’re doing is wrong. Nothing is going right. Do something different. Stop listening to yourself because you’re stupid, frankly.

When you’re on the way to an 0-3 week and all of your teams seem to be sputtering towards the finish line, I think you’ll try just about any thing to get off the snide. So that’s what I’m doing this week. This Sunday is Sadie Hawkins Day! Let me give you a run down:

I’m worried about starting Brandon Jacobs, ever. The plan? Start Brandon Jacobs.

I’m nervous that Beanie Wells can’t produce back to back solid games. Solution? Put him in the line up!

I’m compelled to start Braylon Edwards for whatever reason. Where’s Edwards? On the bench.

I’m scouring the waiver wire for a replacement for the Broncos D.  Who do I get to replace them? No one, we’re not changing horses mid stream.

Where is this going to get me? I won’t know until next Monday morning. But if you need some advice, take mine. Let the girl ask you to the dance this week. If you’re struggling, what’s it going to hurt? I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re not struggling though. If your team is going well, the bye weeks are all over and it’s time to dance with the one you came with. Don’t get cute this late in the season. However, if you’re finding yourself on the fringe of the playoff race you should make a big move. It’s time to go big or go home and I have no intentions of going home.

A couple of quick hits for you:

He may not have done much but MSW (or Sky-Walker whatever works) has to be considered an every day starter.

What a game Ricky Williams had huh? Who knew we’d ever see that from him. I imagine that’s the player Ditka thought he was getting. If you’re in a deep league take a flyer on Kory Sheets. You never know what kind of scheme Miami may cook up for him.

I picked up Josh Freeman in a keeper league. I recommend people do the same. It may not pay dividends this year but I think you could get a top 15 QB on the cheap for next year, or at the very least a decent bye week fill in.

If you have anyone on the Bills, I’d consider dropping them.

Thanks for reading, please follow me on Twitter @HackLaSalle. Feedback always appreciated.

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During the draft a couple things may be difficult to handle. A quick example of a couple of those distractions: 1. Focusing on who to draft when the two idiots sitting next to you are arguing for and against you taking a player. 2. Keeping your draft sheet clean of food and 3.Allowing a player’s name value sway your opinion of him.

It happens every year to just about every fantasy football player. A high pick will be wasted on a fading superstar. Maybe it was LaDainian or Fast Willie this year. In year’s past it could have been Garrison Hearst or Marshall Faulk. Their name draws you in. You remember the good times. You think how can this guy hurt me, he’s been stellar his whole career. You blurt out the name and immediately you regret it. As the single digit points come in week after week, you think about cutting him. The problem with cutting him is he’s a thoroughbred. He has a pedigree. DAMNIT, he’s a future hall of famer he’s going to turn it around. Meanwhile, your season slides further and further into the abyss.

We’re hitting the mid way point here in week 8 and those of you who drafted behind the curve are sitting there with a roster of: Jake Delhomme, Larry Johnson, Roy Williams and Randy McMicheal. Why would you have a team like that? Not because you weren’t prepared, but because the name value drew you in. I fell victim to it in one of my leagues, I’m not immune. I drafted Larry Johnson AND Willie Parker. OOF. I cut ways with Johnson this week, mercifully. I cut him for Chad Simpson Why Chad Simpson? Joseph Addai isn’t lighting the world on fire and I’m trying to be ahead of the curve. I did take out a small bit of insurance of Grandmama. I picked up Kolby Smith. When your roster is full of garbage wasting a space on Kolby Smith really doesn’t seem like too much of a risk.

Sports Guy Mike wrote in his article this week beware the one hit wonder. There’s no reason to start scrambling for Devin Thomas, Spencer Havner or Sam Aiken after their bigish weeks. (or Antwaan Randle El for that matter, I’ve made that mistake). What you need to do is try to PREDICT the one hit wonder not react to the one hit wonders. Unless you’re in a league like my favorite league, where we have specific roster requirements, you have a team full of starters with some scrubs on the bench. After your studs bye week passes you start trimming the fat off the team trying to get a team full of players that can give you the best chance of winning the rest of the way. That, my friends, is when you should try and get yourself ahead of the curve.

I had Jerome Harrison targeted in a number of leagues. I was able to grabbed him in a draft in one league and off the waiver wire in another. He helped me win a few games in both leagues. As you may have read last week I was quick to get rid of him. Hanging on to Harrison would have put me behind the curve. Whereas at one point in time he was a very ahead of the curve selection; his value peaked. After that it was time to cut bait and move on. My co-GM and I targeted two running backs that we knew were risky this season but could pay big dividends as keepers next year. We snagged Fred Jackson and Rashard Mendenhall. We knew that Jackson would give us a few weeks of productivity before Marshawn Lynch came back. Then we assumed that Willie Parker wasn’t coming back to Pittsburgh in 2010. We had no idea what Medenhall would give us this year but we had to take the risk. We had to try and stay ahead of the curve. Not every pick needs to be out of left field. You can pick those solid week in and week out starters. You just need to have a few picks that are distinctively ahead of the curve and hope that they pan out.

I figured I should put my theory to test here in Week 8:

QB ahead of the curve:

David Garrard: He’s going up against a porous Titans D that is literally historically bad.

QB behind the curve:

Matt Schaub: He’s been great this year but can he keep it up? The Bills D have picked off a league high 13 passes and Andre Johnson is nicked up.

RB ahead of the curve:

Beanie Wells: You’ve been hanging on to him on your bench, and now it’s time to unleash him. He may not be the starter but he’s going to get enough carries and catches to make him a valuable start.

RB behind the curve:

Willis McGahee: Yes, he swiped some TDs early in the year but that was early in the year. Remember we’re trying to stay ahead of the curve.

WR ahead of the curve:

I wanted to say Mike Sims-Walker but seriously the word on him has to be out there by now. The one I’m going with is:

Keenan Burton: Don’t know who he is? I’m not shocked. This wide out for the Rams will be getting a ton of looks against a below average Lions Defense. He’s averaging roughly 10 yards per catch and only has one less catch than Donnie Avery. Look for him to find the end zone this week.

WR behind the curve:

Brian Hartline: It was one week. He’s not going to average 30 yards a catch every week.

TE ahead of the curve:

Fred Davis: Ok ok he’s not playing this week. Stay on the look out for him though, you’ll thank me later. I’ll go with Brent Celek instead. Celek doesn’t get a whole lot of publicity. He’s quietly become one of the premier tight ends in fantasy football. In a tight game between the Giants and Eagles he’s going to have an impact in the red zone.

TE behind the curve:

Jason Witten: Don’t crucify me, he’s an every week start without a doubt. It’s becoming clear though that Miles Austin is taking some of his targets.

There is a flip side to being a head of the curve. You can let it get to your head. Instead of going for a sure thing, you’re grabbing that shot in the dark sleeper for shock value. The Commish of my favorite league loves to remind you about all the players he’s “discovered”. He won’t remind you that he proclaimed he discovered Micheal Koenen. Let that be the final lesson of being “ahead of the curve”. Don’t brag about that diamond in the rough. Just let the kudos come to you and hey if you feel that I helped you out send some kudos my way. You keep reading here and I will do my best to keep you ahead of the curve.

Follow me on Twitter @HackLasalle

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So let’s just jump head long into the deep end of the pool? Why am I gonna bore you with I’m in such and such a team league with such and such of rules and all that minutia that really doesn’t matter.

I’ve been texting my Co-GM. Now, if you don’t have a league where you have a Co-GM give it a shot. Best thing I’ve ever done. Me and my buddy work crap hours and don’t get to hang out a lot it gives us something to stay in touch with and it allows us to drive our significant others completely and utterly insane to the point that they will actually leave us alone with some cold ones and go do something else. Plus my Co-GM comes with some fringe benefits aside from being one of my best friends in the entire world. He may or may not work for a certain worldwide leader… So yeah we have a ton of stats at our disposal. Ones that most people wouldn’t even think of. We use it to supplement our general fantasy habits and actually used it to win a title and a decent sum of money ummm I mean pride and kudos. Yes, pride and kudos. All this makes what he texted to me next even more curious:

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST TAKE THE ZERO
What??? On what planet is this ever a good idea? The problem we were dealing with is that our TE John Carlson is on his bye, our Defense the Broncos were on their bye and we didn’t particularly care to cut either of them. Plus the pickings on the Defense and TE pile in a very deep league were slim. We worried about ANY member of our roster that we carefully construct getting pecked off the scrap heap come waiver time. So in my Co-GMs defense this may have been a moment of clarity. Now, we’re not holding on to many gems but still guys who you’re holding out hope can put up some points. One of these guys was Jerome Harrison. Having the flu and for some reason being stashed behind an ineffective Jamal Lewis made him the first casualty. We weren’t worried about Harrison getting taken. He’s a Cleveland Brown and that city doesn’t export fantasy points, just crippling depression.

Harrison… GONE. New Defense for the Week? CIRCLE THE WAGONS! Let’s go Buffalo! The Bills have an underrated D. Now that the offense isn’t playing a silly hurry up offense they’re not ready or equipped for maybe the defense can stay off the field plus let’s be serious Jake Delhomme is good for a pick or ten. (I mean seriously when your fans are making this video, you’re in trouble.) We’re hoping that the Panthers don’t remember how to run the ball incredibly successfully and just continue their insanity and try and heave it down the field to an angry Steve Smith 1.0 (yeah we all know who I stole that from.).

That leaves us the fact of losing Carlson or a very promising Andre Caldwell. Do we take the zero? Do we cut Carlson and hope to grab him on waivers the next week? Or do we do the unfathomable and take the freakin zero!? These are stressful decisions that us fantasy geeks (and I use the term lovingly) deal with that people just don’t understand. This has legitimately consumed hours of my life this week. In fact as I write this I have my fantasy league window open with Ben Watson to be added and just waiting for my Co-GM to get back to me with who to drop because I’ve decided no matter what way shape or form I will not take the zero. And neither should you. Do you know why? Because this is FANTASY football. Not reality.

We take the zero in our every day life. The zero in the nookie department from our wives, girlfriends, strangers that we pick up in the bar that just actually need a place to crash and have no intention at all of hooking up with us. The zero from our bosses and co workers who give us no respect, bust our chops, look over our shoulders and tell higher ups that we’ve been spending hours staring at a Yahoo! Fantasy Football screen and quickly clicking on to a spread sheet when any one looks. I for one Fantasy Brethren am tired of taking the zero on a daily basis and I will be DAMNED if I’ll take the zero in my FANTASY world where I own a team named after a choice between two songs on Satellite Radio (2 Joints Or One Week) on a road trip to Boston.
So to you I say I’m Patrick Hackett, friends call me Hackett and I’m not taking the zero AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!

Feedback appreciated.

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